Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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