bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
