Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
