In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
