Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
