As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
