just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
