You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
