ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
