I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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