I CAN MOONWALK!
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
