I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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