Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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