dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Everyone says I win the strip club
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
