Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
