i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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