the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
