My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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