That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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