i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
