I can tuck mytits in my pants
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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