After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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