i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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