It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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