Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
