Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
