This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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