I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
