and she was petting her beer can
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
