I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
