She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
