What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Randomize
