I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
