oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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