I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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