Quick, to the slutcave!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
jump out the window naked night went bad
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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