Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
