My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
