I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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