Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
