Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
