There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
