I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
are you so shy because you have an std?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
