How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm getting married
To pizza
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
