girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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