he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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