So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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