I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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