therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
