I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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