so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
